Category Archives: A new sunrise

After abandoning a heated (“Explosive ” is a better word) argument with a complete stranger in the middle of the road, amidst a cacophony of blaring horns and abuses (in multiple languages) hurled by other irate drivers, I got back into my car. Trust me, we would have gone on if the wail of a police siren in the distance hadn’t driven sense into our overheated heads.

Once I zoomed off with a flushed face and got ourselves out of the imbroglio, my long suffering wife gave me “That look” , saying “Tsk”, “Tsk”, “Tsk”.

“What ?”, I growled. “Didn’t you see how he behaved?”

“I don’t think he is a Corporate Trainer and I doubt whether he is a coach either. And I am very sure that he doesn’t host a popular self development blog”, She retorted.

“And I really hope that none of your trainees saw your performance tonight”, she continued.

To end the patronizing preaching, she decreed…. “After all your reading and training, you got HOT. You should BE SAD, not sounding self righteous”

That last phrase got me thinking….HOT…BE SAD

HO: HOW did I create this overblown situation? (The sequence of events)

T: What was I THINKING? (He shouldn’t have done that. How dare he? Doesn’t he know how to drive? Doesn’t he have any manners?…………………….)

BE: What were my BELIEFS? (Everyone is a good driver. Everyone will accept sincere polite criticism. Everyone will understand my point of view. Everyone will respond the way I want them to…)

S: What did I SAY/DIDN’T SAY that lead to this situation (When I told him to drive carefully, he asked me to ^%&* off. Then I called him an uncivilized animal instead of saying “Thank you/May god protect you/Please take care” and driving off)

A: What ACTION did I take/NOT TAKE ( I blocked his car, got out, tried opening his door…. Instead of just driving away….)

D: What will I do DIFFERENTLY next time (Make sure that he hears what I want to say politely and get lost without even waiting to hear his version or reply)

I felt a lot more wiser and self composed after asking these questions to myself and finding the answers. At the end of the day, you can’t blame anyone else for the mess that you are in. You have to take 1000% responsibility and get yourself out of the mess.

So if you find yourself pointing fingers at someone at any point of time (could be your boss, or your neighbor, wall street, climate), ask yourself : HOT…BE SAD. And the next time will be different…..better actually.

I should thank my close friend Motaz for introducing Sarah to me, an absolutely stunning change management consultant who perfectly coached me to come to terms with people’s resistance to change.

Without her help, I would have given up on my valiant efforts, despite the hours of positive self talk and self conditioning done, with the sympathetic support of my more experienced colleagues.

This is what SARAH told me, in her soothing voice.

“Sweetheart, don’t lose heart. The only thing that likes quick change is a baby with a wet diaper. The rest of the world would resist it till it spells imminent and immediate doom. And the more senior they are, the more impenetrable would there fortresses be”

“But SARAH, I need to get it done, because it is the right thing to do and shame on me if I can’t bring about a change that is not just something good to have, but something vital for our improvement”, I crooned, staring softly into her mesmerizing eyes.

“Be Patient Ibrahim. It will happen. But it will take time”, SARAH explained….

“First they will be SHOCKED! How can someone have the audacity to tell us to abandon our old ways?”, she said.

“Then they will be ANGRY- It won’t work here. And who the *******are you? It hasn’t worked here for a hundred years; all this is just talk and never will be done. ”

“Now, if you stay perfectly calm and persist with your agenda exuding absolute confidence and steadfastness, they will start REFLECTING. Though you will never get it from their words and body language, your determination will get them thinking”

I listened on…. Nodding my head for every word SARAH said.

“Then, they will AGREE with you. Partly at first and then they will relent more and more day by day. But don’t think that you have won yet. There is one more stage to come”

“Just one more?”- I thought. I could have listened forever.

“Finally, they will come to your for HELP. With all their arms in sheaths, hands in the air, they would want to be the first to adopt the change… and win accolades”

Having said this, SARAH abruptly stood up to leave. My heart skipped a beat. I was trying to invent problems to seek her help and make her stay. But she was in a hurry and after a quick goodbye, walked away, leaving a totally crushed me behind.

After she faded away into oblivion, I gazed at her visiting card that she handed over just before she left.

It said

S: Shocked
A: Angry
R: Reflecting
A: Agreement
H: Help

Thanks a lot SARAH. Thank Motaz. I am a wiser and more patient driver of change now. And after reading my post, hope you are too…….

1. You write down the pros and cons of your job and the cons list laughs at the pros list

2. You spend at least 30% of the time &^%&^%& the company

3. Your best friends are all disgruntled staff

4. You are performing much much below your potential

5. You are ashamed to talk about your salary to your peers or even your juniors

6. Your wife has to push you into the elevator every morning

7. You start shutting down your pc 10 minutes before exit time

8. The last time you took part in social activities at work is in 2001

9. The last pay rise that you got cannot even get you a full tank

10. You have long given up trying to impress the boss

11. The office boys serve you coffee last

12. You yawn 20 times each day

13. All your erstwhile juniors are now your super seniors

If you suffer from at least 6 of these above symptoms. Then you have been diagnosed with a severe bout of overstaying.

The only possible cure is getting out into the sun as soon as possible and finding another job.

Hope you will come back for another consultation only in 2015 after a relapse at your new place.

After basking in the glory of having recognized all the qualities in the A to Z of Success list within yourself, just recheck to be sure. Here is the new list- The A to Z of Failure. Once again thanks to all LinkedIn mates for their inputs, especially to Dr. Syed Suhail Osmani , Charul Sharma & Ranganathan.
Here they are…..

A: Apathetic (indifferent), Arrogant and Aggressive

B: Belligerent (excessively hostile), bad mouthed, biased and blamer

C: Careless, cheater, cruel and closed (never listens or communicates properly)

D: Diffident, deceitful, player of divisionary tactics

E: Egoistic, Escaper (without taking responsibility)

F: Fault finder, fake

G: Greedy, Gossipy, Grudge holding

H: High handed, Hard hitting

I: Intolerant, Indecisive, In disciplined, Intemperate and Incompetent

J: Jealous

K: Know it all

L: Liar, Laissez Faire (let things happen)

M: Malicious,(vicious), Mediocre (bad quality), Mind Reader, Manipulative and Merciless

N: Nagging

O: Opportunist

P: Pessimist

Q: Quitter, quack

R: Rude, rigid and raw

S: Selfish, submissive

T: Tyrant, Trouble maker, Timid (never takes risks), Talker (all talk and no action)

U: Unethical, unforgiving, unfaithful

V: Vagrant (one without any goals)

W: wasteful

X: Xcessive (never optimal)

Y: Yes man ship

Z: Zeolot (fanatic)

I had asked my Linkedin contacts to help me compile a success checklist with words starting with each letter of the Queen’s language. Here they are…. A million thanks to the contibutors.

Assess yourself wrt to the A to Z of success and see where you stand…..

A: Assertive, Appreciative and Ambitious (Having highly challenging goals for all areas of ones life)

B: Bold , Balanced and Benevolent ( Having an Intense burning desire to do good)

C: Confident, Competing and Committed to acheive ones goals at all costs (Though hell should bar the way, NO EXCUSES !!!!)

D: Disciplined , Daring, Doer (action oriented) and Dependable (Give it to him and just forget it)

E: Endearing (Loved by all the worthy ones )

F: Having Faith in oneself, one’s team and god almighty

G: Giver and Gratitude to god, parents and all those who have touched our lives

H: Humble, Helpful, Health concious and Honest

I: Integrity, Influencer and Innovative (Coming out with better and bigger solutions to everday problems)

J: Just (Fairness in every decision, even if own interests are involved)

K: Knowledgeable (A life long learner)

L: Loyal to ones cause

M: Motivated (Takes initiative and says “I must” before someone says “You Must”)

N: Negotiator and Never giving up (Keeps fighting till god grants victory)

O: Optimistic (Hoping for the best, seeing the silver lining in every cloud)

P: Proactive, Prioritiser and Patient (In the face of setbacks and opposition)

Q: Quality champion (Over exceeding expectations, making every work a masterpiece)

R: Responsible and Respectful (To the needs of others)

T: Temperate, Time Concious and Trustworthy (Will never ever break commitments)

U: Understanding (To the challenges and limitations of others)

V: Vanguard (Always in the position of leadership)

W: Watchful (For opportunities and threats)

X: Exuberant (forever an epitome of enthusiasm, happiness and hope)

Y: Young at heart

Z: Zealous (passionate in everything he does)

Come back soon…. I will have the A to Z of Failure for you Insha allah….

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 2,900 times in 2010. That’s about 7 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 56 new posts, not bad for the first year! There were 67 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 3mb. That’s about 1 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was September 16th with 110 views. The most popular post that day was Pick the odd one out.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were linkedin.com, mail.yahoo.com, twitter.com, lmodules.com, and mail.live.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for soulverses sangeeth, bad boss, enthralling movies, soulverses blog sangeeth, and soulverses.blogspot.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

Pick the odd one out September 2010
2 comments

About July 2010
10 comments

Mother UAE, Happy birthday November 2010
8 comments

The Best Self Help Book August 2010
5 comments

A Tiny Test of Faith November 2010
4 comments

One sheet of paper and a pen

10 unforgiving questions
15 fleeting minutes

and

2011 will be different… This is my new year gift to you……

1. Did I have any specific goals for the bygone year? If no, how could I have been so careless about my own life?

2. If I had and if I achieved them all ,what motivated me to stay put till they were realized?

3. If I didn’t achieve them or achieved them partially, what on earth stood in my way? How could I have avoided these roadblocks? What stopped me from trying them then?

4. What does the answers for questions 2 and 3 tell me about myself?

5. What are five things that I did in 2010 that I am proud of ?

6. Did I do something that I regretted later? What are they?

7. List 3 memorable experiences in 2010 that took my breath away…

8. List the names of 3 people that I want to thank and pray for…..

9. List of the names of people that I want to forgive, forget and move on…..

10. How should I be at the end of 2011 to be really happy, proud and contented? (considers all areas: Job, Finances, Health, Relationships, Spiritual)

A close relative of mine called up the other night. He was desperately trying to collect money for an acquaintance who has to undergo a kidney transplant urgently. After months of searching they had found a willing donor- a lady in her thirties. She was getting ready to part with her kidney for money. ….Money to treat her own child of 3 who was suffering from a terminal illness.

Last week, I bumped into a colleague who works as an office boy. He was standing near the elevator , crestfallen and teary. He had just received a call from India with news that his father had passed away suddenly. The young man was standing confused, since he didn’t have enough money to buy an air ticket. So the only son, with a million responsibilities just stood silently wailing…..

I was checking the United Nations website. It says that over 25,000 people die every day of hunger. Roughly put, this is one brother or sister every three and a half seconds. And unfortunately, it is children who die most. By the time you would have read till this line, 2 more angelic lives would have been wasted.

Are we aware that 1.02 billion little ones go to bed hungry every night ? Do we know that there are over 100 million of them homeless worldwide, wandering in search of a roof over their heads?
Without blaming the economic order or the world’s apathetic elite, can we all try to do whatever little we can? Shame on us and our human values if a young mother has to sacrifice herself for the sake of her ill child. Shame on us and all our hypocritical pretensions if we can’t save atleast a few of them from certain helpless deaths.

Let us all take a bold decision right now !!!!. let’s check our bank balances and decide to transfer at least 2.5% of our savings to a worthy charitable organization that is battling poverty. That surprise holiday that we planned, that new gadget for our child, that new accessory for our car and that new branded pin striped suit may have to wait till next year. But our funds will grant precious solace to our little brothers and sisters who simply cannot wait, even for a day.

As the old adage says- Money is what money does. So, let us make at least a part of our valuable savings truly significant, by using it for something worthwhile. Once this is done, I am sure that we can all wish each other “Happy New year” without pangs of guilt jabbing at our consciences. For we would have indeed ushered in the new year with happiness to someone , somewhere …..at least for a while…..

Let’s do it today. Now……

A list of organizations who can take our funds and convert it into aid can be found by clicking here

You can donate online right now by clicking here: HERE

Hope we can all wish each other HAPPY NEW YEAR with a guilt free heart.

Before I delve into my topic let me thank my friend Sangeetha Thomas for sending me the inspiration for the post. Shukran. May god bless you with many more smashing ideas.

Friends and foes…..Another year is coming to a screeching halt. So do hasten to rummage through the utility box of management tools and unearth that proverbial Trumpet once more. It’s time to blow it loudly and clearly again… to awaken all our bosses and benefactors. Lets shake up the ones who are feigning sleep and Let us bewilder the ones who are pleading helplessness into submission.

Rack your brain, Clear your throat, take a deep breath and BLOW…… You are permitted to use the below lines for lyrics.

2010 and its million untold challenges…. Paltry budgets…. Horrendous targets, vanishing workforce, nonexistent market….. blah blah

The many pitched battles you (the knight in shining armor) waged and the wars you won….blah blah

The RESULTS… How your graph is taller than the one for 2009. How your graph beats the one posed by your mighty competitors floors down.

And now for the chorus… THANK you Boss. For supporting me through this horrendous ordeal. THANK you Boss…. Thank you for the inspiration, the support, the lessons and above all for being there for me..

Now get back to blowing again.

How has your splendid work contributed to the Organization’s goals. How you have singlehandedly pushed the conglomerate towards its utopian Vision and how your two tiny hands almost realized the Organization’s sketchy Mission. What difference you made….How in dispensable you are.

Back to chorus mode

THANK YOU BOSS for helping me to do all these wonderful things. If it was not for your enthralling leadership, I would also have been like any other employee in this organization. THANK you Boss .Thanks for making me so wonderful.. and see what this has done for our Organization….

Finally, after making sure that every ounce of breath from your lungs has been cajoled out… Put a title to the email/letter. Let it be “ A Million Thanks to the best boss in the company”.

Click send and hope and pray that it will fetch you a nomination….at least.

When I was young, Dubai was that mystical place from where beaming uncles came from, loaded with gifts. While the whole family would wait jostling for space in the crowded visitor’s room, they would emerge, pushing trolleys overflowing with swollen airbags. The rest of the day would be spend amidst amazing toys , exotic sweets, dazzling perfume bottles and shiny attires . The alluring smell emanating from these FOREIGN items still lingers in my mind, an inseparable constituent of yesteryear memories. In those days I was under the impression that Dubai was a city built in the sky. Didn’t uncles have to get into flying planes to go there ? I had shared this idea with many of my classmates and had succeeded in creating a huge following for the City in the clouds concept. When I came here in 2002 and saw the skyscrapers reaching for the skies, I couldn’t help smiling. I was correct after all.

What does this country mean to me ?

• It has provided us a secure haven and have taken us closer to our dreams.
• It has provided us lot of extremely good friends, from around the world.
• It has taken us closer to god.
• It has provided millions of my brothers and sisters a better life.
• It has provided solace to many poor and needy in my community.
• It was built partly by the sweat of my brethren.
• It has graciously hosted my family for 8 years- 23% of my life.

No wonder, the fluttering of its flag and the strains of it national anthem create the same feeling that the symbols of my own nationality create in me.

No wonder, I instinctively get happy when it progresses…. When it proudly wins matches, builds the biggest and the best and finds ways to beat the treacherous tides of the economy.

No wonder, I sincerely pray for the health and longevity of this nation and its visionary leaders.

Our dearest foster mother …..Live on……Grow bigger and better…..Go Higher every day. Our prayers are with you.

Happy birthday