Monthly Archives: July 2011

Dangerous Viruses of the mind


Had the opportunity to facilitate a session on “Effective Thinking” recently. Had a bash trying to identify common thinking ailments that plague all of us . With gratitude towards the enlightened and enthusiastic set of learners who gave us lot of inputs, let me present the Viruses of our Mind…

Tsunamising:(Making it Huge!!!!!!!)

You have sent your son out to the Grocery. He isn’t back after 4.5 minutes (your eyes never left the clock). You are worried. After 5 minutes you start panicking….. All the worst possible scenarios flood into your mind.

You have sent an email to a close friend who usually reciprocates promptly. Your inbox has being lying barren for two days. You convince yourself that your friend is upset with you and has sworn never to correspond with you. It’s all over…. For now and ever.

That fever that you got recently is definetely a symptom of You know what. Doctors have confirmed otherwise. Buy you know for sure!!!!!

Perfect 10 or none: (It should be Perfect or it shouldn’t be at all)

You want to pray 5 times a day. You missed one. You decide that everything is lost and skip the other ones as well.

You are on a diet and decide to stay away from sweets for dear life. But on a hapless day you have a bite of a very appealing doughnut… and gone. You decide that your diet lies in tatters and you go on to finish the whole box.

You have a small argument with your loved one and lose your cool. That’s it. You decide that the relationship is over and can never be normal again because all relationships have to be perfect.

Nostradamus: (Future telling)

You have been invited for a family get together. You are all set to go. But you see pictures of people making fun of you. That irritating aunt will definitely cold shoulder you. You will end up prodded and poked from all sides. They will all make fun of you………. You can predict the horrendous future perfectly.

You have a presentation to give tomorrow. You are sure that people will be bored. You will get stuck. People will ask questions that will stump you. Your show will be a disaster.

Color Blind (I see only what I want to see)

You decide that Mr. A is against you. You will not see or hear anything good that the person does to you or says good about you. Your antennae will pick up only the not so good things that he has to say or do.

You decide that your husband always stamps the exquisite carpets with his dirty shoes. You don’t notice the million times when he stayed away from it. You catch him red handed (or red legged) only when he is all over the carpet.

Tyrant (There are rules for everything…. they must be followed)

People should respond to me the way I treat them. My son should keep the books the way I want them to be kept. Neighbours shouldn’t have parties. I should always be nice and kind. Husbands shouldn’t disagree with wives in front of kids… You shouldn’t go out for dinner more than once a week……

General (Over Generalizing and all knowing- without any doubt)

Nobody loves me…. All Americans are like this. All children are thankless. Are XX nationalities are like that. I can never do presentations right. I always mess up things. I am hopeless……

Mind Reader (I know why they behave this way)

Mr. X didn’t say hi because he is too proud. Ms. B is not talking to me because Ms. C would have gossiped about me. Mr. H is not helping because he feels threatened. My son doesn’t learn because he is lazy. My wife doesn’t appreciate because she is thankless. Because they have a very poor background, they behave that way………

No Thanks (I am not good)

Someone compliments your looks and you feel-“They are saying that to please me. I am really up to no good”. Someone appreciates a dish that you made and you feel- “The dish is horrible. They are saying that to boost my self esteem”

If you regularly suffer from any of these ailments…. Return to this blog soon. We may have an antidote!!!!!

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Belittle your tribulations


Yearning for a problem free and perfect life was one of my favorite past times. To be fair, life hasn’t till date thrown any colossal problems at me.(Thanks to the almighty). But even the slightest tinge of discomfort had the capability to unseat me from my comfort throne and that lack of ease would forever play in my mind like an incessant migraine making me lose hope, happiness and even my disposition which is generally upbeat and enthusiastic.

I have changed a bit recently thanks to the wisdom found in some very inspirational and soul stirring articles that I came across. Now I am able to give my problems the size, position and importance that they deserve and is able to belittle them against the backdrop of this immense blessing called life.

Today, let me try to share with you the very thoughts that cured me of this malaise……Hope they will also help you put things in perspective

Consider these……….

Problems are an indicator of a person’s importance. The higher you climb, bigger and more will be your problems.

Problems are tools by which ordinary people evolve into extra ordinary souls

Take any problem in the world-lack of health, wealth, good looks, connections…. You will find umpteen examples of people who braved and battled these issues and made it really really big. So problems are not excuses to live lives of scarcity. They are opportunities that can lead you to lives of abundance.

Anything bad that happens to you is a substitute for something really worse that could have happened. So be thankful…

Do these……

Ask Him. He Listens…
Turn each anxiety, each fear and each concern into a supplication. Look at it as another reason to submit to the will of the almighty. When you awaken in the morning, thank god for giving you life after that short death called sleep. When you step out of your home, remember him. Start every action with a small prayer. At night, fall asleep with His praises on your lips. Once you have established a plan to deal with a specific issue or problem in your life, put your trust in the most Wise and the All-Knowing.

Remind yourself that human responsibility is limited

While we need to carry out our duty to the best of our abilities, always remember that we don’t control the outcome of events. Once we have done our duty, leave the results to god. Regardless of the results of our efforts, we will be rewarded for the part we have played. We are Not Running the World, God is

Seek help through Patience and Prayer

Patience and prayer are two oft-neglected stress busters. Patience includes self-control, perseverance, endurance, and a focused struggle to achieve one’s goal. Being patient gives us control in situations where we feel we have little or no control. We cannot control what happens to us but we can control our reaction to our circumstances. Patient striving is the essence of Proactiveness.

Connect with our brothers and sisters

We are never alone. We must think of our brothers, talk to them and connect with them. Through our connections, we will break the chain of isolation that leads to depression and anxiety. Pray with other people instead of alone. Praying in congregation is a great morale booster

Pray for Others to Heal Yourself

Praying for others connects you with them and helps you understand their suffering. This in itself has a healing component to it. And whenever we sincerely pray for others, god hears our prayer and blesses both of us.

Whenever a misfortune befalls us say loudly with conviction: ‘Surely we belong to god and to Him shall we return’
God is the only One who gives and it is He alone who takes away. Hence let us be grateful for whatever we receive. Let us also patiently endure during times of turmoil and pain. For everything happens for a reason…. good reason.

It is reported that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “When a son of a servant of Allah dies, Allah Says to the angels, ‘Have you taken the son of My servant?’ They say, ‘Yes.’ Then Allah Says, ‘Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’ They say, ‘Yes.’ Allah Says, “What has My servant said?’ They say, ‘He has praised You and said, Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un (To Allah we belong and to Him is our return). Then Allah Says, ‘Build a house for My servant in Paradise and call it the house of praise.’

May the all powerful god give us the strength to change all that we can change and accept all that we cannot change and give us the wisdom to differentiate between the two………………………

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Writing a Love Letter again


There is something very very special about love letters. They both surprise and thrill the recipients. The lucky ones who receive them feel so warm and loved that they can hardly wait to return the love to us. They create a matchless feeling when the reader realizes that we cared enough to take the time to get the stationery, write and post the letter.

Don’t wait for the opportune date and time. Send them every time you can. When someone is packing, hide the letter somewhere- in the pocket, purse or a shoe. Imagine the heart beats of the person when he discovers it… far away from you. Hide your message among the long list of grocery items that your wife has made. She will stand transfixed amidst the other busy shoppers who aren’t as lucky as her. Leave small post it notes with your messages in your child’s lunch box or in one of his books. Each time, they stumble upon one, they will be reminded of how much they are loved and appreciated.

As a bonus, save a copy of your love letters and Iam sure that you will relish reviewing them some day and cherish the memories they evoke.

The most endearing letters are the ones that you can write to our older parents or grandparents living far away from us in the fading twilight of their years. Most of these people do suffer from umpteen diseases. But they almost always also suffer from broken hearts. Most of their friends would have passed on and they have few connections left with the fast and apathetic world around. They may be waking up in the middle of the night feeling totally alienated and depressed and lying awake… waiting for yet another meaningless day.

It is at times like these that they slowly get up and take out that letter that we would have sent months earlier that has already been read a hundred times. They read every word again and get transported to the wonder world where their grand children are playing merrily, where we sit next to them, cuddling them and telling how much we love them. I am sure that our letters would be tear stained, tattered and taped from incessant reading and pondering.

Come…. let’s do it. Don’t worry about syntax and grammar. Our readers don’t care. Just write from your hearts to theirs. They will know what we mean……

Let me write mine……

Dearest Uppa and Umma

From Miles and Miles away, as my family lies sleeping peacefully in the other room, I am writing this letter to tell you once more that I love you more than anyone in this world………………………………..

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