#MissionInspire1Million

As the world’s most ambitious blogger stealthily sneaked away from his unshakeable commitment to write at least 2 posts every week, visits to his “Next big thing on the blogosphere” work of art dropped drastically. If not for the curiosity of a handful of diehard fans, the eyeball count would have dropped below 200, the lowest ever. Shame on me……

I can of course attribute the inactivity to a not so expected promotion, a visit to Geneva to accept an award on behalf of the bank and a trip to Oman to attend a sister’s engagement. But excuses apart, the sight of an elderly traveler jogging within the terminal of Zurich airport reminded me of the unbreakable connection between consistency and commitment.

While the blogger rested, the world indeed moved on (as time and tide waits for no one)…. And HOW?????. If I may mis-quote Shakespeare from his play Julius Caesar, the Ides of March have been indeed bewildering. For those who look confused, The Ides of March is the name of March 15 in the Roman calendar, probably referring to the day of the full moon. On his way to the Theatre of Pompey (where he would be assassinated), Caesar meets a seer who foretells him that harm would come to him not later than the Ides of March. And it did indeed.

And years after Caesar’s assassination, the Ides is back again, unleashing a series of events that would probably change the world for ever.

Unprecedented Protests in Syria, Oman, Yemen, Iran, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait. Retaliation by the army. Deaths. Entry of Gulf Shield forces into Bahrain. The Sultan of Oman dismisses three senior ministers.

As forces loyal to Gadaffi began winning over rebels, Nato backed by a UN resolution starts bombing targets in Libya. Mixed reactions from the international community.

NATO forces kill 9 Afghan children while they collected firewood; this is the third NATO attack on civilians in the last 2 weeks.

Eleven people are sentenced to death and twenty to life sentences for their roles in the Godhra train burning in New Delhi, India.

Dozens of people are killed in fighting between rebels and troops in Southern Sudan.

Shahbaz Bhatti, Pakistan’s Minister for Minorities and himself a Roman Catholic, is assassinated in Islamabad.

Pope Benedict XVI exonerates the Jewish people for the responsibility for the death of Jesus in his book Jesus of Nazareth.

The Bangladeshi central bank attempts to remove Nobel Peace Prize winner Muhammad Yunus from the Grameen Bank which he founded.

Apple Inc unveils the latest model of its tablet computer, the I Pad 2.

The United Nations says world food prices are at their highest for 20 years.

Mazda recalls approximately 50,000 Mazda6 sedans after finding that a spider web could cause the fuel tank to crack and leak.

P. J. Thomas, India’s chief of anti-corruption, resigns over charges brought against him of corruption stemming from 1992.

NASA’s attempt to launch the Glory satellite aboard a Taurus XL rocket fails.

Following rocket attacks from the Gaza Strip on southern Israel, Israeli air force planes bomb Hamas and Islamic Jihad targets in the Gaza Strip.

Oil prices rise to their highest level in 29 months as fighting in Libya intensifies.

Israeli troops and settlers open fire upon Palestinians in the West Bank while they repaired orchards previously attacked by settlers, injuring 8 Palestinians.

Clashes between Christian Copt and Muslims in the Egyptian capital Cairo kill 13 people and injure 140.

The 14th Dalai Lama announces plans to retire as the head of the Tibetan exile movement within days.

An 9.0 magnitude earthquake hits Japan, producing tsunamis as high as 10 meters near the epicenter and reaching land throughout the Pacific ocean. A nuclear meltdown occurred at the Fukushima I Nuclear Power Plant disabled by the Japanese earthquake and a state of emergency is declared at five plants. The Government of Japan evacuates over 200,000 people as fear of nuclear contamination from the power plants grow. The death toll exceeds 20,000.

A Palestinian armed with a knife infiltrates the West Bank settlement of Itamar and stabs to death two Israeli parents and three of their children. UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon condemns the Palestinian attack. Israel approves the construction of hundreds of homes for Israeli settlers in the West Bank in response to the same.

At least 40 people, most believed to be civilians, are killed near Mira shah after United States drones bomb Pakistan in the deadliest such attack by the United States since 2006.

More than 80 per cent of votes in the Egyptian constitutional referendum support liberal reforms. 

The ICC world cup progresses, with its usual doses of predictable and surprising results. India is to play Australia tmrw, which would be our most important match in the tournament. Will the little master score his 100th 100? Will we win and go on to lift the world cup ?

All the above incidents have short term and long term implications for all of us. Some make us glad. Some make us sad and feel bad. Each of them provide a million questions and lessons……

Should we bother to do Long term planning?

Why do we still harbor so much hatred?

I hope blogging will get promoted on my priority list. Otherwise its identity and existence may get buried in the ides of the coming months……

“Life Position ???? …..what is he up to this time ?”, you may be wondering. It’s just a sliver from this amazing psychological theory called Transactional Analysis.

Wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t log off….. don’t let the jargon tick you off. it’s simple to understand and apply. Just read through till the very end and you will know what it is all about.

When you were crawling around your house in your best birthday suit, you took a basic decision about yourself and all the people around you. The way you perceive yourself and the rest of world and the way you behave therein is based very much on this basic stance that you took before the age of 2.

These are four positions, one of which you have taken. They are…

I am Ok, You are OK
I am OK, you are not OK
I am not OK, you are not OK
I am not OK, You are OK

It is said that by default we are all born with an “I am not OK, you are OK ” stance. Understandable. Because we were all born pretty helpless and tiny into a world of giants. We could do nothing on our own and we depended on these giants for everything. So we assumed that there is something fundamentally wrong with ourselves, though all others are perfect.

Once in a while these giants (one of them in particular) took us in her arms, fed us, kept us warm and whispered sweet sounding things . During this process and for some time after this, we felt different and we changed our stance to I am OK, you are Ok. When the fondling became irregular or seldom or when we were denied of something (food, dry nappy), we switched back to the default stance.

After a few months, we started crawling around and became explorers. And we got hurt. We bawled!!!!!!!. In certain cases no one was there to attend to us and comfort us. So we took another position. I am OK, You are not OK. We assumed that there is something wrong with people around us. They cannot be trusted or relied upon.

In extreme cases we were neglected all together or we were punished so badly that we took up the fourth position- I am not OK, You are not OK. There is something fundamentally wrong with me and all others. People are unreliable, untrustworthy and wrong in so many ways ….

Though we would all have taken these 4 stances at different stages of our childhood, we adopted a fundamental stance by the age of 7 and this decision that we took rules us and influences every bit of behavior that we display today.

As adults too, we shift across all these positions, but in times of stress and duress, we go back to our fundamental position and operate only from there…..

Under stress, If…..

I believe that I am not OK, you are OK, I will get away from others and hide myself. I will feel inferior. Will not fight for my rights and will feel depressed.

I believe that I am OK, you are OK, I will be open with others and will welcome openness from others. This is a position of maturity and assertiveness.

I believe that I am not OK, You are not OK, I will not have any hope. I can never be OK, nor could you give me what I need. This leads to a state of futileness.

I believe that I am OK, you are not OK, I will be paranoid and will try my best to get rid of you to be OK. I will boss you around. Treat you like ^%&^ and will try to destroy you ruthlessly.

You may take different life positions in different contexts. But your true life position will be apparent in your most intimate relationships.

Without saying much, it is obvious that the best stance to take is I am OK, You are OK. This is where you respect yourself and the rest of the world. You will first listen to others and seek to understand and only then try to make others understand. This is the position that creates true WIN-WIN situations.

Which Position are you in and how can you get into the I am OK, you are OK track…. Well!! As always… Read on………

A Jan winter night
Soldiers passing by
Listening to the winds of change.

The haunting strains of this ever popular Scorpion’s song has been running amok in my head for the last couple of weeks….ever since that young unemployed graduate Sidi Bouzid stood in the main square of his village , doused himself in petrol and set himself on fire.

As he ran helter skelter through the streets, screaming in agony before dying of his burns on 4th January, his shrieks awakened something…that was stirring restlessly in its sleep for decades. As he breathed his last he bequeathed his life on to something that was waiting behind the curtains…..awaiting its grand entry. Waiting for that someone somewhere to decide that it was enough and that it cannot be taken any more…..

The embers from his lifeless form caught on…..setting hearts on fire. One…. Two…. Three… till it stumbled upon critical mass… and the inferno beckoned the future.

The future’s in the air
I can feel it everywhere
blowing with the wind of change

Even well trained, die hard soldiers lowered their guns. Citadels of power crumbled. Bastions of tyranny imploded and the dreaded, tormentors fled for dear life. Moving from threshold to door….begging for sanctuary. As a nation rejoiced.

As an ardent student of change management, I have always tried to touch and feel the magic of the drivers of change. Some undefined thresholds that get breached somehow starting that slow and steady fall of the dominoes.

That threshold that was breached once again by Sidi and will be by many like him again…..

So many things to be changed. Within us and without. Bad habits. Bad attitudes, Bad systems.

How far are we from the thresholds? And where could Sidi be?

Still unborn

Still Working as a vegetable merchant,

or

Still staring at that crackling matchstick?

Take me to the magic of the moment
on a glory night
where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change

(This song just refuses to let go)

After abandoning a heated (“Explosive ” is a better word) argument with a complete stranger in the middle of the road, amidst a cacophony of blaring horns and abuses (in multiple languages) hurled by other irate drivers, I got back into my car. Trust me, we would have gone on if the wail of a police siren in the distance hadn’t driven sense into our overheated heads.

Once I zoomed off with a flushed face and got ourselves out of the imbroglio, my long suffering wife gave me “That look” , saying “Tsk”, “Tsk”, “Tsk”.

“What ?”, I growled. “Didn’t you see how he behaved?”

“I don’t think he is a Corporate Trainer and I doubt whether he is a coach either. And I am very sure that he doesn’t host a popular self development blog”, She retorted.

“And I really hope that none of your trainees saw your performance tonight”, she continued.

To end the patronizing preaching, she decreed…. “After all your reading and training, you got HOT. You should BE SAD, not sounding self righteous”

That last phrase got me thinking….HOT…BE SAD

HO: HOW did I create this overblown situation? (The sequence of events)

T: What was I THINKING? (He shouldn’t have done that. How dare he? Doesn’t he know how to drive? Doesn’t he have any manners?…………………….)

BE: What were my BELIEFS? (Everyone is a good driver. Everyone will accept sincere polite criticism. Everyone will understand my point of view. Everyone will respond the way I want them to…)

S: What did I SAY/DIDN’T SAY that lead to this situation (When I told him to drive carefully, he asked me to ^%&* off. Then I called him an uncivilized animal instead of saying “Thank you/May god protect you/Please take care” and driving off)

A: What ACTION did I take/NOT TAKE ( I blocked his car, got out, tried opening his door…. Instead of just driving away….)

D: What will I do DIFFERENTLY next time (Make sure that he hears what I want to say politely and get lost without even waiting to hear his version or reply)

I felt a lot more wiser and self composed after asking these questions to myself and finding the answers. At the end of the day, you can’t blame anyone else for the mess that you are in. You have to take 1000% responsibility and get yourself out of the mess.

So if you find yourself pointing fingers at someone at any point of time (could be your boss, or your neighbor, wall street, climate), ask yourself : HOT…BE SAD. And the next time will be different…..better actually.

I should thank my close friend Motaz for introducing Sarah to me, an absolutely stunning change management consultant who perfectly coached me to come to terms with people’s resistance to change.

Without her help, I would have given up on my valiant efforts, despite the hours of positive self talk and self conditioning done, with the sympathetic support of my more experienced colleagues.

This is what SARAH told me, in her soothing voice.

“Sweetheart, don’t lose heart. The only thing that likes quick change is a baby with a wet diaper. The rest of the world would resist it till it spells imminent and immediate doom. And the more senior they are, the more impenetrable would there fortresses be”

“But SARAH, I need to get it done, because it is the right thing to do and shame on me if I can’t bring about a change that is not just something good to have, but something vital for our improvement”, I crooned, staring softly into her mesmerizing eyes.

“Be Patient Ibrahim. It will happen. But it will take time”, SARAH explained….

“First they will be SHOCKED! How can someone have the audacity to tell us to abandon our old ways?”, she said.

“Then they will be ANGRY- It won’t work here. And who the *******are you? It hasn’t worked here for a hundred years; all this is just talk and never will be done. ”

“Now, if you stay perfectly calm and persist with your agenda exuding absolute confidence and steadfastness, they will start REFLECTING. Though you will never get it from their words and body language, your determination will get them thinking”

I listened on…. Nodding my head for every word SARAH said.

“Then, they will AGREE with you. Partly at first and then they will relent more and more day by day. But don’t think that you have won yet. There is one more stage to come”

“Just one more?”- I thought. I could have listened forever.

“Finally, they will come to your for HELP. With all their arms in sheaths, hands in the air, they would want to be the first to adopt the change… and win accolades”

Having said this, SARAH abruptly stood up to leave. My heart skipped a beat. I was trying to invent problems to seek her help and make her stay. But she was in a hurry and after a quick goodbye, walked away, leaving a totally crushed me behind.

After she faded away into oblivion, I gazed at her visiting card that she handed over just before she left.

It said

S: Shocked
A: Angry
R: Reflecting
A: Agreement
H: Help

Thanks a lot SARAH. Thank Motaz. I am a wiser and more patient driver of change now. And after reading my post, hope you are too…….

1. You write down the pros and cons of your job and the cons list laughs at the pros list

2. You spend at least 30% of the time &^%&^%& the company

3. Your best friends are all disgruntled staff

4. You are performing much much below your potential

5. You are ashamed to talk about your salary to your peers or even your juniors

6. Your wife has to push you into the elevator every morning

7. You start shutting down your pc 10 minutes before exit time

8. The last time you took part in social activities at work is in 2001

9. The last pay rise that you got cannot even get you a full tank

10. You have long given up trying to impress the boss

11. The office boys serve you coffee last

12. You yawn 20 times each day

13. All your erstwhile juniors are now your super seniors

If you suffer from at least 6 of these above symptoms. Then you have been diagnosed with a severe bout of overstaying.

The only possible cure is getting out into the sun as soon as possible and finding another job.

Hope you will come back for another consultation only in 2015 after a relapse at your new place.

After basking in the glory of having recognized all the qualities in the A to Z of Success list within yourself, just recheck to be sure. Here is the new list- The A to Z of Failure. Once again thanks to all LinkedIn mates for their inputs, especially to Dr. Syed Suhail Osmani , Charul Sharma & Ranganathan.
Here they are…..

A: Apathetic (indifferent), Arrogant and Aggressive

B: Belligerent (excessively hostile), bad mouthed, biased and blamer

C: Careless, cheater, cruel and closed (never listens or communicates properly)

D: Diffident, deceitful, player of divisionary tactics

E: Egoistic, Escaper (without taking responsibility)

F: Fault finder, fake

G: Greedy, Gossipy, Grudge holding

H: High handed, Hard hitting

I: Intolerant, Indecisive, In disciplined, Intemperate and Incompetent

J: Jealous

K: Know it all

L: Liar, Laissez Faire (let things happen)

M: Malicious,(vicious), Mediocre (bad quality), Mind Reader, Manipulative and Merciless

N: Nagging

O: Opportunist

P: Pessimist

Q: Quitter, quack

R: Rude, rigid and raw

S: Selfish, submissive

T: Tyrant, Trouble maker, Timid (never takes risks), Talker (all talk and no action)

U: Unethical, unforgiving, unfaithful

V: Vagrant (one without any goals)

W: wasteful

X: Xcessive (never optimal)

Y: Yes man ship

Z: Zeolot (fanatic)

I had asked my Linkedin contacts to help me compile a success checklist with words starting with each letter of the Queen’s language. Here they are…. A million thanks to the contibutors.

Assess yourself wrt to the A to Z of success and see where you stand…..

A: Assertive, Appreciative and Ambitious (Having highly challenging goals for all areas of ones life)

B: Bold , Balanced and Benevolent ( Having an Intense burning desire to do good)

C: Confident, Competing and Committed to acheive ones goals at all costs (Though hell should bar the way, NO EXCUSES !!!!)

D: Disciplined , Daring, Doer (action oriented) and Dependable (Give it to him and just forget it)

E: Endearing (Loved by all the worthy ones )

F: Having Faith in oneself, one’s team and god almighty

G: Giver and Gratitude to god, parents and all those who have touched our lives

H: Humble, Helpful, Health concious and Honest

I: Integrity, Influencer and Innovative (Coming out with better and bigger solutions to everday problems)

J: Just (Fairness in every decision, even if own interests are involved)

K: Knowledgeable (A life long learner)

L: Loyal to ones cause

M: Motivated (Takes initiative and says “I must” before someone says “You Must”)

N: Negotiator and Never giving up (Keeps fighting till god grants victory)

O: Optimistic (Hoping for the best, seeing the silver lining in every cloud)

P: Proactive, Prioritiser and Patient (In the face of setbacks and opposition)

Q: Quality champion (Over exceeding expectations, making every work a masterpiece)

R: Responsible and Respectful (To the needs of others)

T: Temperate, Time Concious and Trustworthy (Will never ever break commitments)

U: Understanding (To the challenges and limitations of others)

V: Vanguard (Always in the position of leadership)

W: Watchful (For opportunities and threats)

X: Exuberant (forever an epitome of enthusiasm, happiness and hope)

Y: Young at heart

Z: Zealous (passionate in everything he does)

Come back soon…. I will have the A to Z of Failure for you Insha allah….