5 minutes to become a better spouse and parent


After slogging feverishly to impress myself and my stakeholders at work amidst juggling with social commitments and personal interests, I used to reach home totally depleted. The rest of the hours would be spent as a shadow of my own good self as I would try to get away with the barest minimum of responses to the eager advances of my wife, my ten year old son and baby girl. I who normally take great pains to make official projects and gatherings fun and warm would transform into an apathetic passerby at home, the place that actually mattered the most. My loved ones had learnt to accept my behavior by soothing their pain by repeating unconvincing excuses- “He is really tired, He is very tense today, just another bad day at the office”.

Thankfully, affairs are much better now. I owe this change to a self help article that I came across during a flight. I don’t remember the name of the author. But let me share his wisdom with you all……..

Here is how it works….

I have downloaded a few of my favorite old songs, especially the soulful nostalgia evoking ones. Once I drive back home and reach the car park, I would ease myself of the seat belt, sit back and switch the CD player on. I would close my eyes and slowly let the haunting music and delicious lyrics take me over … till “that” feeling moves out from my chest to all parts of my body. While I am in the throes of this feeling, I would imagine the situation at home and what each of my loved ones would be doing. Then I would try to creatively come up with ways to make the evening uniquely special for them.

Play cricket with Amaan for a while or cook his favorite soup with him.

Conjure up a story and sing it along the lines of Jehan’s nursery rhymes.

Spend time with my wife, updating her with all the juicy things happening in the world, or spend some time with her on her face book page, enjoying its various hues.

I try my best to make the experiences different and special each time. Once I decide on what to do, I get out of the car and enter my home, to craft a mellifluous script for the rest of the evening along with the ones who matter the most.

Takes me just some old songs and a few minutes and of course the urge to make my relationships better and exceptional.

Please try it…. And enjoy the difference that it creates in your lives

1 Comment

Filed under Till sunset and beyond

One response to “5 minutes to become a better spouse and parent

  1. Mila

    MashaAllah.Love you and indeed very proud of you,brother.
    The Prophet sallallahu alaihe wasallam has stated, “Your walking towards the Masjid and returning home to your children, holds the same merit in reward.” (Al-Ifsah Ibn Hajr Haitha mi )

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