The Johari window concept says that every person is like a window with four panes. Pane 1 consists of all the things that he knows about himself and his companions know about him. (Let me shift to her… just in case). Pane 2 consists of things that she doesn’t know about herself, but the world knows. Now this may be either real or imagined/misunderstood things…. never mind. Simple examples are bad breath, stinking socks, mannerisms, body odor (yuck). More complex ones would be outrageous allegations. (If you depute someone to ask 20 people about yourself, you will be astounded on hearing at least some things that they would say and all these surprisingly new things would be in pane 2. Pane 3 consists of things that you will never hear from them. These are your secrets (fetishes, fears, clandestine plans, etc.). Pane 4 consists of things no one knows….unknown to you and the world (you could be a good skier or sky diver…. no one, including you know, since you have never tried).
Now, to have good relations with the rest of this wonderful world, your pane 1 must be bigger than the rest of them. You can make Pane 1 the numero uno by doing two simple things.
1. Explaining why you did what you did to one and all as detailed and often as possible: Never assume that people will understand the rationale behind your actions. They will readily convince themselves that you had the worst and ugliest of intentions. So please save yourself from this trouble.
2. Always seek feedback from all the ones that matter. Keep asking them about how they feel about you, your actions and reactions. Be prepared for negative feedback. If its undeserved explain and convince people politely and patiently. If its deserved, accept it and decide to mend your ways…
There is a wonderful tool for you to so this feedback seeking and clarification. However, I don’t want to give it to you on a platter. If you want it either send me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org or call me at 050 3423552. This tool will make your relationships refreshingly better and endearing. It worked for me and will surely work for you as well… Insha allah